Opus Dei bankrupt as 'God's Banker Mk#2' sinks

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

image for Opus Dei bankrupt as 'God's Banker Mk#2' sinks
GBMk#2 on the rocks...

Off-the-Wall-St, NY - (Meltdown Mess): The Vatican's Nazi-gagging stink tank is down to its last divine IOU after a string of dodgy investment tips from a top Opus Dei stooge.

"We're not exactly calling him God's Banker Mk#2," NYC editor of LA FagHagSlagMag Dave Skank said today, "at least not just yet."

The anonymous, supremely self confident machiavellian former investment banking egomaniac revels in the title of Vatican Managing Director Corporate and Mergers and Acquisitions Advisory, New York and London.

But as top Opus Dei investment adviser he has somehow managed to corrall the shadowy cult to a karmic plunge into criminal bankruptcy.

Wall Street turbulence has seen Opus Dei's assets crash to around $200,000 against $100 million of mortgages.

These are secured on assets pawned effectively to the President Bush Hedge Fund following the Fannie Mae/Freddy Mac bailout.

The Vatican's own private equity operation is itself embroiled in desperation measures as debts to belly-upping Wall Street behemoths outstrip previous fiascos such as the 1982 bankruptcy of the Vatican Bank.

NYPD officials are staying schtum.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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