Written by ANDYGEE

Saturday, 5 July 2008

New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clarke is suing an American novelty teeth supplier for breach of Patent and Forgery.

Prime Minister Helen Clarke Claimed today that she alone has worldwide rights to bad teeth an the basis of Customary Rights.

She claims that since birth she has sported bad teeth and has taken particular care not to detract from their appearance by undergoing what she regards as the "affliction of the rich" ie "Dental Enhancement".

"So what if having a row of gleaming straight white teeth makes me more appealing to the general public. They're just confused followers who become voters every every 3 years, so who cares what they think,... I don't.. that's for sure. Throw them a few carrots each election and I'm in like Flyn'. Oh..there you go.. that's another of my witty Repertoire of sayings" Says Clarke.

A spokesman for the novelty teeth manufacturer says "Hell no, we're innocent. We're in the market of real fake teeth that makes people gasp and take a second look, and that's where the difference lies.

"We had to take 3 and 4 looks at Helen Clarkes bad teeth before we realised they was real.

"Hell, we nearly fell off our chairs when we realised how much it would cost us to make a set of teeth look that bad.

"We really felt sorry for Helen and asked her to pick a set of teeth from our range but she declined saying she don't want anything that would make her look more feminine'

"Anyhows, We're settling out of court just to make the problem go away."

The settlement includes the manufacturer supplying, free of charge any 15 sets of their Bad Teeth, of her choice.

"If we sees her on the Tele screen looking more like a lady, we're not to say anything that might make people to think she's wearing our teeth," continued the spokesman. "We're really happy that this is over because now we can add a lookalike set of her teeth to our realy scary range.. Only to make em look different we'll close up a few of her gaps and even em up a little.

"Even our customers can only take so much scaring"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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