Campaign to equate cage fighting with ballet

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Friday, 9 May 2008

image for Campaign to equate cage fighting with ballet
"Bruiser" Donlon and Dawn the Brawn limber up before their championship cage fight

News arrives that the American "Versus" TV channel is launching a campaign to convince viewers that those who take part in the sport of cage fighting require brains as well as brawn, and could just as easily be ballet dancers.

It would appear that according to the agency creating the campaign, the public seem to be under the misapprehension that cage fighting involves two tattooed thugs climbing into a locked metal cage and beating the sh*t out of one another, until one either quits, or simply dies.

The agency is also keen to point out that true fans understand that participants are "incredible athletes" and partaking requires "intense physical and mental preparation".

They also say that viewers who watch these events on TV are actually beginning to notice the distinct similarity between cage fighting and ballet or opera, especially opera, where the inevitable conclusion is that the fat, noisy lady wins, irrespective of the opposition, and then goes on to sing "Just one Cornetto".

However, observers who are not necessarily fans of the sport don't wish to appear to be too negative when they confess to thinking that the agency is really on somewhat of a hiding to nothing. They are convinced that there may be a better chance for H M the Queen to endorse Andrex, or Gordon Brown to stand up in Parliament and admit he actually hasn't a clue what is going on.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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