Amstetten - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl has blamed his mother Unity Valkyrie Mitford Fritzl for the mess he finds himself in today.
The 73 year-old despotic monster made a statement via his attorney claiming he'd been initiated into 'keeping it all in the family' by the woman who had a legendary affair with the Fuherer.
"She told me she was doing it for the Fatherland," Fritzl explained, "and I just wanted to please her.
"I could always see a lot of her in my eldest daughter.... And later, of course, in my own granddaughters."
Fritzl hopes to plead insanity after learning that the World Health Organization regards the Oedipus Complex Variant as a major mitigant in incest cases.
He thinks that a lenient Viennese judge will probably recommend a six month stint in a Swiss sanatorium as opposed to life imprisonment.
"With a bit of luck I'll be home for Xmas! The Ho9llywood movie rights alone should pay for a big fat present, Ja?"