Secrets of the Knights Templar revealed!

Funny story written by Lord B of W

Monday, 28 April 2008

The Knights Templar were once the most powerful organisation in the world with more power than the Catholic church and finances that rivalled the richest of European Kings. That was up until the early 14th century when they were all but wiped out. However their treasures and their secrets have never been discovered.

Rumours and speculation as to their "secrets" (the source of their sudden rise, wealth and power) has never abated. Many historians have devoted their lives to "the quest" of tracking down the secrets ... not to mention the enormous stash of treasure.

Many have died in that quest - that too surrounded by rumours and speculation ... do the Knights Templar still exist, are are they still protecting their secrets?

Many a novelist has gained fortune and fame by speculating as to the nature of the "secrets": ... a hidden bloodline from Jesus that exists even today (thanks Dan!); the Holy Grail - the cup that held the blood of Christ from the crucifixion; never before seen gospels that contradict those published in the New Testament (let alone the Gnostic Gospels - don't get me started on them!); or even the bones of Jesus (thus proving that he could not have been resurrected!)

But now, for the first time in seven hundred years, this TheSpoof.com reporter can finally reveal those secrets. I have followed my own quest, determined and deciphered the clues, travelled across ancient Christendom, I've collected actual documentary evidence of what I can now reveal. I'm sure I'm being watched, I'm sure I'm being followed, but now I can reveal to the world the most thrilling and exciting and amazing secret, it's ... hold on, there's someone at the door, "What! Who are you? ..............."

*thud*

Silence...

"Shit!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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