Islamabad - (Bad, Bad Ass Mess): "I am a great fan of the Whore on Terra's Bush and Blair," young Bilawal Bhutto-Zardari told Pakistani voters today, "and vow to follow their example on my way to power and glory just as soon as I've finished my GCSE re-sits in domestic plumbing and broadband hacking.
"I particularly admire the way Bush's Vice President Dick Cheney single-handedly scooped all the Iraqi megabucks contracts for his old firm Halliburton, earning himself a secret $5 billion in the process," the youngster added.
"And Blair's personal heist of the $18 billion Oil-for-Fraud scam is a milestone achievement all aspiring politicians should try to emulate."
Bhutto-Zardari was addressing party faithful after being chosen as their icon and figurehead ahead of the January 2008 national elections.
The 19 year old son of the late Benazir Bhutto and her convicted embezzler husband Asif Ali Zardari is studying at Grimsby Polytechnic in the UK.
He hopes to enter politics - "seriously!" - just as soon as he's got his resit certificates and aims to follow his Bush/Blair heroes' road to megalomanical power - "although, let's face it, nobody could steal a march on Bush's 2000 White House coup de theatre except perhaps Satan himself."
Salman Rushdie is incontinent.
