Washington (IP) - Our reporter was in Washington this week to attend the White House press conference on gang activity. Bush declared September 11th through 18th as National Gang Week.
Bush spoke on America's long and proud history of gang activity. He spoke glowingly about the Irish and Italian gangs that thrived in New York City during the late 1800's.
The next group of gangs that evolved was the KKK and Night Riders of the early and middle 1900's. He went on to describe the wonderful Puerto Rican and other Latin gangs of Jersey City and New York during the 1950's, the Columbian and Asian gangs of the 1980's, and finally spoke at length about the Latino, White, and African American gangs of the present day. And who could forget the Biker gangs and the Skin Heads?
George W. Bush explained how gang activity is so widespread that even the U.S. military is full of gang activity and this extends all the way to the quagmire in Iraq. The President says that if you don't believe it just look it up on any search engine. George does not know how to use the internet so he has children do it for him.
The President announced that he is going to grant tax exempt status to the gangs of today. He will also provide them with surplus military gear such as military vehicles and semi-automatic weapons.
The surgeon general meanwhile has issued a report which states that only cowards join gangs because these folks lack the courage to face the world on their own. They do not have a father figure in their lives as is called for by the laws of nature. The gangs provide them with an artificial father figure in the form of a gang leader. The general also stated that prison and death are the ultimate destination in store for those who choose gang membership over a normal way of life.
