The Krays Back in the East End?

Written by Aisubeki Akiudo

Monday, 6 August 2007

image for The Krays Back in the East End?
Percy Kray, nowt t'do with t'other Krays, like..

LONDON (Defecated News) - They were iconic and charismatic, yet also instilled fear into the hearts of millions. They controlled gangs and sold illegal toothpaste. Now, decades after the decline of their glorious criminal empire, the Krays appear to be making a return to the streets of London.

Percy Kray (69) of Sheffield, is currently in talks with other family members about moving to East London to start up a ladies' clothes wholesale business. Mr Kray, who is not related to the famous Krays, told The Spook only yesterday,

"I were 'opin ter moov down t'Loondun with me family, burrit joost dependz on house prices, ye nerr. When I were a lad, it were mooch cheaper in Loondon."

The change in location came about after Percy's book-keeping business closed down due to poor records. He and his wife Kay (38) now plan on making a new start in Bethnal Green. Kay told us,

"It wood be grand if I were eble t'go down t'shops an' see a few more black folk, there's nowt round 'ere. I also hope to set oop a carpet cleaning business and sell Yarkshire poods from horme."

Ronnie and Reggie Kray are now dead, and were unavailable for comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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