2012 U.S. Presidential Election Candidates Revealed

Written by Rodders

Sunday, 2 September 2007

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The opening moves of those campaigning for the next but one Presidency began yesterday. The citizens of the USA will eventually elect one of them and send them to the White House, just as soon as the soon-to-be incumbent President has been selected and served their own term.

Notable opening salvoes came from such people as Democratic senator Barack Obama, who attacked the (as yet unknown) next President thus, "Despite him or her being given a full four years to do so, he/she has not pulled our troops out of Iraq, which may or may not be a flagrant disregard of his or her promises made when elected.

"Vote for me in 2012," said Obama. "And I'll bring our troops home, after our soon to be current President has not, if that is indeed what he ends up doing... or she."

One notable absence from the list of Republican Party candidates is that of Rudy Giuliani. However, since Mr. Giuliani anticipates winning the 2008 election, he intends to launch a 2012 re-election campaign in the next few days, promising to stick to the pledges he will make during his first term in office. "Rudy Giuliani sincerely believes in the policies he will form over the next few years," said his campaign spokesman. "And he will stick by them and the American people. Which other candidate can say that?"

Despite the race(s) now hotting up, American journalist Walter Cronkite voiced his concerns over candidate funding, noting that every candidate now has two campaign funds running concurrently, each of which runs into millions of dollars. Political campaign funding now accounts for 37% of American gross national product.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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