Grizzlies suffer acute food poisoning as man found mauled in Belgrade Zoo cage

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 20 August 2007

image for Grizzlies suffer acute food poisoning as man found mauled in Belgrade Zoo cage
Animal rights activists would have had a field day

Belgrade, Serbia - (Ass mess): Veterinary surgeons worked around the clock today to save two grizzly bears from death by food poisoning after the lifeless body of a man was found in their enclosure at Belgrade Zoo.

The unidentified man is believed to have been drunk when challenged to climb into the compound and "give the bears a bear-hug" according to diners in the restaurant above the facility who saw him around midnight before the incident.

His ravaged corpse was said to reek strongly of alcohol by zookeepers who found his. But their main concerns were for the bears who were found crouching in a pool of their own vomit, looking sickly "and gulity as hell".

"That'll teach 'em!" the local papers's editorial bellowed out today amid mounting criticism that the offending bears had been let off lightly with massive intravenous anti-biotic drips instead of being put down by the Zoo authorities.

But the Zoo's director-general was unapologetic about the course of action taken by the establishment today.

"After all that publicity that BiPolar bearcub Knut got in Germany recently we would have been hounded out of the zoological business if we had destroyed our own cute and cuddly grizzlies for what is, in anumal kingdom term, a relatively minor misdemeanor!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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