Thursday, 16 August 2007

image for Cherie Blair opens new branch of Aldi in Papua New Guinea
Mrs Blair, enjoying an ice-cream

Cherie Blair, wife of former American Vice-President Tony Blair, has cut the ribbon at the opening of a new Aldi in Port Moresby, capital of Papua New Guinea. Mrs Blair was presented with a cheque for £100,000 by local children. The cheque was for her appearance at the opening.

Mrs Blair, who was photographed wearing a new pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes, became angry when one reporter asked why she had demanded such a huge fee for her appearance. She said: "I'm not driven by money!"

Another reporter tried to ask her a question but Mrs Blair's spokesman intervened and said no further questions would be allowed until payment had been received from the newspapers.

One 10 year old orphan boy offered Mrs Blair some flowers. She asked where he'd bought them. The boy said he had hand-picked them himself in fields near his hut. She politely declined the flowers.

As Mrs Blair got into the backseat of a Mercedes to go to the airport, one of the village elders asked if she could do anything to help about the poor living conditions in the country. Mrs Blair told the elder: "I'm just an ordinary working mum, trying to raise my family. I'm no different to a mum on a council estate."

The barrister will be in New York later this week to make a speech to children at a school in the poverty stricken area of Harlem. She will receive $1,000,000 plus expenses.

Mrs Blair is a personal friend of Cliff Richard, who is a personal friend of Jesus Christ, who is a personal friend of President Bush, who is a personal friend of Tony Blair, who is married to Mrs Blair.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Cherie Blair

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