Iraqi Woman Cites Magic Bullet Theory In Destruction Of Property

Written by Dignan

Wednesday, 15 August 2007

image for Iraqi Woman Cites Magic Bullet Theory In Destruction Of Property

An elderly Iraqi woman claims that two bullets hit her house Tuesday after a coalition forces raid on Sadr City.

She cites the Magic Bullet Theory from the Kennedy Assassination, saying that the first bullet entered through the front door at a downward angle of 17 degrees, destroying her brand new 3-Panel Oval Craftsman Pella Door. It then moved upward in order to leave the door, destroying a brand new Waterford Crystal Chandelier, where it waited 1.6 seconds, turned right, slashed into her original Warhol Cagney Print and bounced into her La-Z-Boy recliner in pristine condition.

The second bullet enters her kitchen in a spectacle of explosions, destroying her brand new Sub-Zero refrigerator, nicking the rustic contemporary marble counter-top, where it does a miraculous 180-degree turn and headed for her living room. There the bullet waited for 2.3 seconds and entered a Sony Bravia XBR 52? 1080p Flat-Panel LCD HDTV shattering several components before exiting and then entering, then exiting, then entering a new Pioneer Elite Blu-ray High-Definition Disc Player with Standard-DVD Up-conversion - from which it later fell out and is found in almost "pristine" condition on her sand floor.

The woman has filed a $1.5 million lawsuit against the coalition forces for property damages, pain and suffering, loss of enjoyment in life's pleasures, and emotional distress.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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