Vienna, Austria (IP)- Sad news from Austria today as it has been announced that the Vienna Boys Choir known here as the Musik der Kinder Katze will be disbanded on a permanent basis. The reason given was that hormones added to food products have made the children mature at a very young age.
The premature maturity which has plagued the children has changed the timbre of the children's voices from alto and soprano to tenor and baritone. Many four, five, and six year old boys are now sporting beards and bear a resemblance not unlike the one projected by Rasputin.
Many of the children are now turning to do-wop music and singing the bass and tenor parts of the harmony. One child is being sued for alleged copyright violations of Barry White's music.
A surprising benefit to some of the children with the deepest voices is that they are being hired as supervisors and department heads. This is a result of long standing office customs and practices wherein it has always been believed by corporations that a deep voice conveys authority and the ability to command lesser beings cursed by voices with higher pitch characteristics. Some of the children have also found jobs as TV and Radio announcers based on the same principle.
In a related story out of Utah the Mormons had to quickly assemble a boys choir due to a surprise visit to the First Mormon Church by President Bush who was under the mistaken notion that he was visiting the Mormon Tabernacle Church. All they had available as refreshments were apples and tab soda and they had to quickly improvise a name for the choir that would not violate copyright laws. When the President entered the auditorium they presented the choir as the Mormon Tab and Apple choir. The President did not notice anything out of the ordinary and the program proceeded without any further complications.