Virgin Boss Sir Richard Branson Tells Of His Notable 'Firsts'

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 31 July 2007

image for Virgin Boss Sir Richard Branson Tells Of His Notable 'Firsts'
He might not look like much now, but back in the day...

Sir Richard Branson has revealed in a magazine interview how, against his will, he came to be a member of the mile-high club as a teenager.

He recalls in the interview in QG magazine, how he was sitting next to "a rather portly lady" who wouldn't leave him alone on a flight from London to Los Angeles. The femme fatale, he says, was obviously in need of "something that the onboard cabin crew weren't able to provide".

Said Branson:

"She was a real munter. About 45 years old. All she could talk about was fondling my bollocks. When I made my excuses and went to the lavatory, she followed me, and barged her way in. We were in there for nearly four hours."

He went on to describe the "forced entry" in detail so graphic, it cannot be reprinted here. It was so traumatic, however, that on arrival in LA, Sir Richard was immediately rushed to the intensive care unit of a local hospital where he subsequently spent three weeks "at Death's door".

The Virgin tycoon also recounted other notable 'first experiences' in his life, such as taking cocaine, ecstasy, heroin and crack, how he was taught to roll a joint by Rolling Stone Keith Richards, and what happened when he tried out homosexuality - both as a giver and a receiver.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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