London - (Ass Mess): The World Council of Matriarchy meeting in closed conclave near St James's Palace duckpond this weekend has warned that the numerologically-sensitive date of 7/7/7 is a dead cert for the Biblical Day of Judgement Upon Earth.
"We are expecting the whole corrupt infrastructure centered around the Puppet Monarch Elizabeth II to crumble and set off a tsunami-like shockwave across the globe," the Council's spokeswoman said today.
"A chain reaction of mass public arrests of politicians, financiers, judges, socialites, celebrities and every manner of vermin ever to pay homage to the Puppet Thorne of Adolf Hitler's daughter will then take place.
"In Albion's green and pleasant land this will center of the Pretender to the Throne whose real ID is George Freeman, son of fetid fraudster and serrial Mossad turncoat Raine Spencer by ex-KGB colonel and former US President Ronald Reagan.
"At Buckingham Palace the Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon and his North Korean espionage accomplice Sir Robert Janvrin will be marched off to Traitor's Gate to await execution at the gibbet.
"Up to one hundred Russian oligarchs and dodgy London-resident billionaires will be rounded up, stripped of their assets and stuffed into the dungeons of the Tower of London.
"A special task force will be responsible for arresting the Pretender's pretend sons Wills and Harry who will be charged with the 7/7 bombing in Central London in 2005.
"London Mayor Ken Livingstone and Respect MP George Galloway will be detained under the Mental Health Act and charged with the Canary Whaft bombings attributed to the Provisional IRA.
"Paul McCartney will be charged with the murder of the man whose name he took over, as will Mick Jagger who will be charged with killing the real Jagger and burying him at his former country home of Stargrove before 'suiciding' Brian Jones.
"Elton John, with his mother Lily Safra and his sister Camilla will be charged along with the Duke of Westminster in relation to the 9/11 atrocities in Lower Manhattan.
"And Mohammed Fayed will be charged with killing his son Dodi with a cocaine overdose and substituting a lookalike in his place who he then ordered to shag George Bush Senior's daughter ""Princess" Diana.
"And the icing on the cake? Cherie Blair will be dragged kicking a screaming along with her 'husband' to a place of detention and booked on charges of treason."
Apart from that it should be a 'lovely day' according to the Met Office which has predicted plenty of sunshine for the Tour de France and for Roger Federer's needle semi-final match agaist the Frenchman Gasket who thrashed US ace Andy Roddick in five sets at the quarter finals today.
