Written by queen mudder

Monday, 25 May 2015

image for Radio carbon dating tests reveal Pope Joe Ratzinger in fossilised state
Ya, sieg heil my fellow Nazi cyborgs

Rome - Retired Vatican rock star Pope Bennydick 16 has crumbled to ruins two years after getting the boot for the Turin Shroud scam.

This morning a medical team examining the ex-Pontiff's private quarters confirmed they's found a dry rot infestation gumming up his arse.

"Eez improvement on last month's ultrasound," Vatican surgeon-general Dr Salvatore Vaselino commented, "when nest of cockroaches was evicted from inside Il Papa's trunks."

The 90-something malingerer spends his daze in a Vatican sanatorium dribbling over housekeeper Sister Ingrid Stampa who ministers to the seedy ex-Pontiff's carnal needs.

Mostly this consists of feeding Benny the odd Viagra tablet when current Vatican incumbent Pope Frankie-the-Argie comes round for weekly penance and a spot of flage.

The two men then peform a Black Mass together invoking Satan on behalf of the Nazis who still run things pretty much as before in their secret Catacombs HQ.

Angela Merkel is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Pope Benedict




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