Written by queen mudder

Monday, 25 May 2015

image for Radio carbon dating tests reveal Pope Joe Ratzinger in fossilised state
Ya, sieg heil my fellow Nazi cyborgs

Rome - Retired Vatican rock star Pope Bennydick 16 has crumbled to ruins two years after getting the boot for the Turin Shroud scam.

This morning a medical team examining the ex-Pontiff's private quarters confirmed they's found a dry rot infestation gumming up his arse.

"Eez improvement on last month's ultrasound," Vatican surgeon-general Dr Salvatore Vaselino commented, "when nest of cockroaches was evicted from inside Il Papa's trunks."

The 90-something malingerer spends his daze in a Vatican sanatorium dribbling over housekeeper Sister Ingrid Stampa who ministers to the seedy ex-Pontiff's carnal needs.

Mostly this consists of feeding Benny the odd Viagra tablet when current Vatican incumbent Pope Frankie-the-Argie comes round for weekly penance and a spot of flage.

The two men then peform a Black Mass together invoking Satan on behalf of the Nazis who still run things pretty much as before in their secret Catacombs HQ.

Angela Merkel is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Pope Benedict

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more