Written by LEDHEAD

Friday, 10 April 2015

image for Scottish city of Glasgow disappears without trace overnight
David Cameron's Missing City Force Team arrive at vacant Hampden Park

Morning commuters were shocked to discover that the City of Glasgow had disappeared overnight. Planes circled the area where there had once been an airport and trains coming into the city now terminate in a large grass field.

As the news of the city's disappearance grew on social networks, worried relatives and friends telephoned in complete panic, only to discover the numbers were dead. The Prime Minister David Cameron, on being told of the mystery, also telephoned dozens of folk he knew from the city but was unable to contact anyone.

The BBC were first news agency in the air this morning, joining a few other aircraft that were circling the the large desolate area below. Sheena Buchanan, from BBC Aberdeen, talked steadily but slowly into her microphone, 'If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed it. Down below, once stood the historic City of Glasgow and for no rhyme or reason, it has completely vanished. It's hard to speculate about what happened but the social networks are rife with stories of Aliens and a new enemy secret weapon. David Cameron will be in the city in the next few moments, we are told. Let's hope he can provide answers for the relatives and friends of the Glaswegians who are locked in prayer over the world.'

Astonished drivers on the M8 motorway were shocked to find any slip roads in our out of Glasgow and tailbacks in both directions stretched for miles. We spoke to Shuggy McBride who was attempting to make his morning bakery delivery to local supermarkets and shops this morning as his van was first at the scene, 'Unfecking believable. Somebody's having a giraffe. Whatamameant to dae wae away these pies, rolls and breed. No only that, what's hoppened tae Celtic?'.

David Cameron's helicopter eventually arrived where once Hampden Park was. His team of specialists and fellow ministers made their way, ducking the chopper blades, to the large huddle of journalists and photographers. 'I know it's astonishing, but it's gone. According to satellite footage, Glasgow can be seen clearly from space at 11.59pm last night and exactly midnight, it went. I know folk are comparing it to flight MH370 but this is a city, not a frigging aeroplane. Barack Obama has offered the full use of US technology and the support of the CIA.', Mr Cameron said.

Strathclyde Police have taped of an area of 175.5km square and are treating it just like any other crime scene.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Glasgow




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