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Funny satire stories about Glasgow

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Funny story: Donald Trump The Riot Instigator Has Been Arrested Trying To Flee The Country

Donald Trump The Riot Instigator Has Been Arrested Trying To Flee The Country

NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The New York Police Dept. reports that Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump has just been taken into custody at JFK Airport. Federal agents report apprehending the orange whore bitch as he was in line to get on board a fli…

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Funny story: ‘Vegans taste good. Organic Vegans Taste Better’ claim modern Eco-Friendly Cannibals

‘Vegans taste good. Organic Vegans Taste Better’ claim modern Eco-Friendly Cannibals

Modern cannibalism in this country is under threat due to a small number of old school cannibals eating non-vegans. ‘The public is oblivious to the destructive elements within our movement,’ said Brenda O’Lox from the Nice Cannibals Alliance. ‘Eat…

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Funny story: First man ever completes Glasgow Marathon

First man ever completes Glasgow Marathon

It is one of the toughest events in sport, but today Geoff Shoes, 37, a professional runner from Kenya won the Glasgow Marathon. He is the first person to cross the finish line of the event since it started in 1980. Organisers were shocked to see Sho...

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Funny story: Glasgow Art School Inferno World Cup Conspiracy Theory

Glasgow Art School Inferno World Cup Conspiracy Theory

The Glasgow art school has burnt to the ground again just as the World Cup starts in Russia 2018 and some conspiracy theorists are saying that it can't be a coincidence that the last time it burned down was in 2014 during the Brazilian World Cup.

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Funny story: Glaswegian police search for massive lost python with magnifying glass

Glaswegian police search for massive lost python with magnifying glass

Shock, horror in Glasgow, as a super-huge Burmese python goes on the run (slither, surely?) after breaking out of a tiny flat in the Gorbals area. Schools, mums and dads, were issued warnings through huge megaphones for their wee kiddies to stay i...

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Funny story: Scottish city of Glasgow disappears without trace overnight

Scottish city of Glasgow disappears without trace overnight

Morning commuters were shocked to discover that the City of Glasgow had disappeared overnight. Planes circled the area where there had once been an airport and trains coming into the city now terminate in a large grass field. As the news of the ci...

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Funny story: £500 million Glasgowland theme park opens on Isle of Wight

£500 million Glasgowland theme park opens on Isle of Wight

The long awaited Isle of Wight Glasgowland theme park has opened with an explosion of swearing, drunken razor fights and face "glassing". A true Friday night Glasgow experience can now be had any night of the week without leaving the geriatri...

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Funny story: Xbox One found behind toilet, working perfectly

Xbox One found behind toilet, working perfectly

An Xbox One has been found behind a toilet in a male toilet room in St Enoch, Glasgow. It was discovered when a pipe burst. It is unknown how it got there in the first place, though people have suspicions that a gamer at E3 2013 had stole an Xbox One...

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Funny story: Glasgow Helicopter Crash Caused By Flock Of Distraught Seagulls

Glasgow Helicopter Crash Caused By Flock Of Distraught Seagulls

GLASGOW, Scotland - A flock of seagulls, distraught over the loss of their mates to a windmill farm by hatching a plan to take out a helicopter over a popular Glasgow pub, says anthropologist and part-time crime writer, Archibald Leach, University of...

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Funny story: Pandas escape from Glasgow Zoo and go on a rampage

Pandas escape from Glasgow Zoo and go on a rampage

Residents in Glasgow have been warned to be on the look out for the two Chinese Pandas that have been loaned to Glasgow Zoo in order for them to mate and produce baby pandas. According to the zoo owners, the pandas escaped their enclosure and are on...

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Funny story: Glasgow police arrest kissing lodger

Glasgow police arrest kissing lodger

A lodger wanted in connection with an assault on his landlord was arrested yesterday. For several years 51-year-old Hugh Yewlukinat had been living in lodgings in the Glasgow district. According to sauces left on the kitchen table, he'd recently s...

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Funny story: The Scottish Invented Football

The Scottish Invented Football

New research from Glasgow University has shown that football was invented in Scotland, and not, as the history books have it, in Cambridge. "We have documentary evidence that football was being played in Glasgow as far back as 1066," said Scottish...

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Funny story: Glasgow man ate 10% of the world's "rare earths"

Glasgow man ate 10% of the world's "rare earths"

A man in Glasgow is in hospital after it is estimated he has eaten up to 10% of the world's rare earth metals. Rare earths are metallic elements which are common but relatively hard to extract, and are valuable because they are used extensively by th...

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Funny story: Pope Benedict Implicated in Huhne Type Police Investigation

Pope Benedict Implicated in Huhne Type Police Investigation

Pope Benedict XVI has become embroiled in a scandal after it emerged that he may have tried to evade punishment for speeding during his vist to Scotland last September. Sources close to Strathclyde Police have reported that the a senior inspector...

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Funny story: Scientists are closer to inventing a "mind reading machine" after decoding the brain signals that make mental images in Glasgow

Scientists are closer to inventing a "mind reading machine" after decoding the brain signals that make mental images in Glasgow

Scientists are celebrating their new invention, but only in Glasgow. So far they have only been able to decode brain signals of people who 'think' in a Glasgow accent. Often there were NO brain signals to work with but scientists do believe they...

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Funny story: Scientists closer to inventing mind-reading machine after brain wave breakthrough in Glasgow

Scientists closer to inventing mind-reading machine after brain wave breakthrough in Glasgow

Scientists in Scotland have announced they are close to unveiling their mind-reading machine in Glasgow. Apparently, at present the mind-reading machine is only able to read minds of people who 'think' and speak with a Glasgow accent. Unfortunate...

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Funny story: Trouble At Glasgow Royal Wedding Party

Trouble At Glasgow Royal Wedding Party

An unofficial party held to celebrate the Royal Wedding ended in chaos and disorder in Glasgow on Friday night. The event, held at Kelvingrove Park, initially went off well as party goers revelled in the sunshine, dancing to the music blaring out...

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