Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 5 March 2015

image for Jihadi John's new bride is the herd hottie
Got the hump

Syria - Self-styled decapitation fanatic Jihadi John has taken a wife in marriage after placing an ad in the CaliphateHotChickz.con website's matrimonial column.

Local beauty Basra Bint Kamel stands 7ft1in tall at her highest point (her hump) and is covered in a thick, sandy colored coat ideal for gestating desert ticks.

Her online profile describes the herd hottie as having a classic spongy mouth with a proper thick leathery lining - considered ideal for performing intimate personal acts and/or chewing thorny desert delicacies.

The couple are believed to have tied the knot in a wadi near Aleppo last Friday when Jihadi John handed over $400 and a recycled burn phone to the herder in charge of camel matrimonial transactions.

The happy pair may now post decapitation videos together after JJ promised to tech his new wife all that he knows.

Expect a Jihadi hybrid baby in nine months time.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Jihadi John

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