Speccysavers call police over Lord Lucan eye test

Written by Auntie Jean

Saturday, 30 November 2013

image for Speccysavers call police over Lord Lucan eye test
A roulette wheel on the floor

Speccysavers in Knightsbridge have confirmed that an extremely old man calling himself simply Loo Can was prescribed a pair of glasses this morning. Very posh policemen were called.

One theory is that a similar sounding man killed his children's Nanny in the notorious Loo Can murder, due to not having suitable glasses.

At 9.45pm on the night of 7th November 1974, a distressed and bloodstained woman burst into the bar of The Plumber's Arms, Lower Belgrave Street, crying out "Help me, help me, help me. I've just escaped from being murdered. He's in the house. He's murdered the Nanny!"

She was the Countess of Lucan, who had fled from her home at number 46, leaving behind her three children.

A new drama in the Bad Taste series made by ITV has been made and once again all the surviving relatives in this tragic case will be brutally reminded again of the largely unexplained happenings so that executives can make some money.

A spokesman for Speccysavers said "If this man had gone to Speccysavers in 1974 he might have killed the right person. At least he will be able to see who he is killing now."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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