Royal Baby: First Glimpse Of Kate's New Boobs

Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Royal Baby: First Glimpse Of Kate's New Boobs
Breastfeeding? Yuck. That's what wet nurses are for

London - The slightly conical rack of newly upholstered mammaries looked properly tethered down at their first public debut on the steps of the St Mary's Hospital Dildo Wing tonight.

And it's likely the twin boobies will stay firmly under wraps in a six month-long seclusion zone as a team of wet nurses takes over suckling young Baby Cambridge.

It's the first time breasts have been spotted on La Middleton's chest since surgeons removed some pre-wedding day falsies that had begun leaking 'like clockwork' once every month.

Those floppy cavities have now filled out in a process known as postpartum lactation which pumps home-grown maternal fluids into the mammary sacs before unleashing added female whoremoans into the busty minx - er...mix.

Commenting on Kate Middleton's new boobs a London paparazzo said 'WTF?' on the Seven O'Clock News amid colleagues' cries of 'Get yer tits out, love' as the Cambridge family sped off home tonight.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more