North Korea's Dear Leader, World's Most Sexiest Man Alive and Time Magazine's Man of the Year has saved the world from a Mayan invasion fleet.
Dear Leader reported, "As you may know, I am fluent in all languages, past, present and future and while I was quickly and accurately reading the Mayan writings, I cam to the realization that the Mayans and Klingons are one and same. Shortly thereafter, I discovered the secret invasion plans cloaked in the apocalypse story."
The Wrold's Most Sexiest Man Alive added, "I went down to my palace basement and since I am an expert in all scientific matters, I quickly and single-handedly built a rocket with a nuclear warhead out of junk that I found in said basement. I launched the rocket last week under the guise of a satellite launch. The warhead destroyed the Klingon mother ship, the Lieutenant Commander Worf, and the rest of the invasion fleet immediately surrendered to me personally. I am now Head of the Klingon High Command."
Time Magazine's Man of the Year concluded, "I was going to keep my heroic exploit secret but last night I went out on a bender and let it slip. Oh well."
A worldwide celebration of gratitude for Dear Leader is scheduled for December 23: S-Un-Day.
