After literally days of fighting, Italy have finally chosen a leader to replace outgoing randy prime minister Toni Berlusconi.
Mario Monti is a snake-like character, who admits he is no 'adder', but is leaving the economic mathematics to his advisers.
He made a brief statement today, in which he declared that the Italian economy is "not deceased" and definitely not "pushing up the daisies".
He said, "This economy is not no more. It has not ceased to be. It is not an ex-economy. It is not pining for the fjords, and has not shuffled off its mortal coil. If it wasn't nailed to the Euro perch it would be flapping about like the proverbial parrot."
