George Clooney Demands To Be Added To Mount Rushmore

Funny story written by Arthur Ginn

Thursday, 1 December 2005

image for George Clooney Demands To Be Added To Mount Rushmore

Taking a break from banging supermodels and traveling the French Riviera, George Clooney, star of Batman and Robin, says that he would like to be added to Mount Rushmore.

Mount Rushmore is a monument dedicated to four former presidents; Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.

Clooney says, "I believe my work is at least the equal of Lincoln. He signed the Emancipation Proclamation. I played Booker on Roseanne. There is a symmetry there."

Mount Rushmore took over fourteen years to complete yet Clooney insists,"If we get those aliens that blasted it in Mars Attacks to re-do in my image then the costs would be minimal."

The actor claims that his latest films "Syriana" and "Good Night and Good Luck" represent a point of view that is lacking in America. "I want people to question authority. To challenge the status quo. We don't want to tell people what the answers are because clearly we don't have the answers." Later he admitted, "I actually have all the answers to everything but I'm just not going to tell you."

Syriana, a movie in which Clooney plays a Michael Moore sized CIA agent, demonstrates, in the actor's mind, why his likeness should be craved into Mount Rushmore. "This movie is going after 50 years of flawed policy in the Middle East. Only I can sort and separate all the issues into a tight two hour film, solve this crisis and have time to text message Nicole Kidman, Julia Roberts, Matt Damon and Robin."

"My work on Facts of Life prepared me for this day. Acting opposite Tootie is better than any political science course. " he said. "I also took a pay cut to do Syriana. There aren't that many people that can go from a net worth of 50 million to 49.9 million but I sacrificed. I did it for the art. "

He concludes, "Ignore all the books, blogs, documentaries, classes, newsletters, lectures and pamphlets on the subject of the Middle East. I finally did something about it. Me. That's leadership. That's presidential. That's worthy of Mount Rushmore. Or at least a tin foil plated statue in Washington D.C."

Good night and good luck George.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more