Outed Gay receives $270K, Valerie Plame Jealous

Funny story written by wadenelson

Monday, 15 August 2005

image for Outed Gay receives $270K, Valerie Plame Jealous
Rove puts more than his foot in his mouth...

San Francisco - A gay man outed on a Spanish-language radio show broadcast nationwide will be paid $270,000 by Univision Radio, an arbitrator has ruled. Valerie Plame, outed by someone in the Bush administration, told reporters she wouldn't settle for "t\Ten times that amount, and even then, not until I see that [expletive deleted] Rove doing the duck walk in handcuffs." It's not a crime to be gay, but it is illegal to out a CIA agent," she added."

According to court documents "R.H." was driving to work in 2002 when he received a phone call from a man who claimed that he met "R.H." at a San Francisco gay bar. The caller then dropped the bomb that the conversation was being broadcast live on the "Raul Brindis and Pepito Show," based in Houston.

Valerie Plame was serving her kids Count Chocula and Fruit Loops when her husband, ambassador Joe Wilson, read, out loud, a syndicated column by Robert Novak stating that Plame was a CIA agent. "My kids were horrified." And my husband, well, the whole time he thought I worked for Citibank. He no longer trusts me."

"It's a nightmare," "R.H." said. He had been discreet about disclosing his sexual orientation before the incident, not even telling his family. Likewise, Plame's entire neighborhood now knows she has a license to kill, as well as a concealed firearms permit. "The kids are so cruel. Your mommy's a spook, they say over and over!"

Hernandez was awarded $250,000 and nearly $20,000 in economic damages because of the emotional distress that led to seven months of unemployment after quitting his job. Plame simply switched from government to private industry contractor Blackwater Industries, reportedly doubling her salary, despite the emotional distress.

The White House refuses to comment on "any investigation that is still pending" and since it is basically investigating itself, it's likely to be awhile before the fickle finger of fate finally points at Rove. A lump sum payoff of $2,000,000 by the Republican National party was reportedly tendered, but turned down. "After all," says Plame, "how would you like to have your family discover you've been lying to them for the past 20 years while faithfully serving your country?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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