If you sit your daughter down to a plate of delicious, nutritious peas, and she begins crying like you just told her Yo Gabba Gabba was cancelled, it might be because they are ripping young Becky's delicate mouth tissue to shreds.
The Pictsweet Company announced a recall of certain codes of store-brand products containing frozen green peas, after the company learned that some of the packages may contain glass fragments, which may cause injury if ingested. Only 242 injuries have yet been reported.
"Look," said Pictsweet's CEO, while packing the contents of his office in boxes. "Do you know how hard it is to package as many frozen vegetables without the occasional pubic hair, rat head, or smashed Budweiser bottle getting mixed in?"
"I thought I accidentally picked up the extra chunky-style frozen peas," said one clueless mother of 4. "It wasn't until I coughed and my uvula fell out that I knew there was an issue."
Products subject to this recall were distributed in Walmart stores throughout the United States, fortunately, meaning only poor people and minorities will be affected.