Following the bold decision by police in Louisiana to deny the renewal application of a Concealed Weapons Permit for humoungous, fake Deputy Steven Seagal, The Screen Actors Guild has announced that they will also be looking to end his association with the Guild.
Said, Rosencrantz GuldenStern of the SAG: "Mr. Seagal's renewal must be scrutinized very carefully, and I believe that, once the investigation is over, he will not be a member any longer."
SAG cites such violations of it's guidelines as:
1.) Spray painting one's head to camoflauge balding.
2.) Always speaking in that silly, affected raspy, loud-whisper voice. (This is the rule that SAG used to suspend Christian Bale after using the voice to say "Where is she" 113 times in The Dark Knight.)
3.) Violating SAG's Anti-Sh-tty Movie Act, enacted after the 1989 movie Collision Course, starring Pat Morita and Jay Leno as --wait for it-- two wacky detectives searching for a stolen turbocharger.
Seagal was contacted by phone, and had this to say:
"Hey, sweetcheeks, let me touch that ass. No... no it is BETTER that you work for me. That way it won't be strange if people see us together and... Am I still on hold?"
