Steven Seagal Sued for One Million Lollipops by Former Sex Slave

Funny story written by Cuff

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

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Action hero and self proclaimed sex symbol Steven Seagal is being sued for breach of contract by his former very personal assistant Liotta Licki.

The former child porn star declares Seagal lured her out of the slums of Vietnam and made contractual promises including starring in a movie where she actually wore clothes.

Seagal is best remembered as a self made writer/producer/ actor of some of the most predictable action movies ever and one time husband of Kelly Lebrock. Seagal is also owner of a chain of notels in Thailand called 'Fire Down Below' that pride themselves in catering to any sexual desire and guarantees not only discretion but a constant rotation of international flavor.

"The charges brought out by Ms. Licki are preposterous." Seagal fan Bruce Clementine offered. "She may seem Out For Justice but is On Deadly Ground if she plans to destroy Steve's career. He is truly Above The Law in Thailand and though personally Under Siege he is a Patriot who has done so much for animal and environmental rights.

"Baseless rumors like this are Hard To Kill but facts will be brought Into The Sun with Urban Justice and Ms. Licki's case will be Submerged in a Flight of Fury. Steve is Out of Reach from The Foreigner and rather than succumb to her demands he made an Executive Decision to bury her lies in The Belly of the Beast.

"She is just a spurned lover that thought she was The Keeper but Steve was Born to Raise Hell and is not A Dangerous Man but rather a Mercenary for Justice."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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