Rand Paul: "I would Love to be Treated Like an Old Black Sharecropper"

Written by Asheville Jack

Friday, 21 May 2010

image for Rand Paul: "I would Love to be Treated Like an Old Black Sharecropper"

Hot off his victory in the Kentucky republican primary Libertarian canididate Rand Paul, son of Congressman Ron Paul from Texas, strove today to position himself as a man of the people. "I strive today to position myself as a man of the people," he said, "because I believe in liberty more than you do," he said to the assemble press. "I love liberty so much more that I believe Americans should be truly free not to be free if they want."

"Free to do whatever a persons hormones compel them to do," he continued. "Free to spin around on the ground like Curly making choo-choo train sound for money. Free for doctors, of which I am a highly trained one, to partake in Medicare and Medicaid payments and then complain about it. Free to take advantage of government provided veterans benefits or home loans and then to stick it to the banks and the government as we're fleeing on taxpayer funded highways - all the while complaining about big government and taxes. Free to treat our fellow humans like insurance salesman if we so please."

Now getting into freedom of speaking before a captive audience Rand Paul said, "Free for us politicians to say we're hiking the Appalachian Trail while taking a long stroll down lovers lane. Free to say hello to the undercover cops in the airport bathroom and keep our jobs in Congress. I believe in the kind of American freedom where a business owner can hang a sign in his store window saying no black or brown skinned people allowed inside, kind of like they're doing for the whole state of Arizona now. That's how much more I love freedom than you. Why, if I was an old black sharecropper and a man wanted to kick me out of his store because of the color of my skin, I would get down on my knees and pray to the Christian God for the blessing of living in such a great freedom loving country."

"In America even bigotry and hate can be free," Paul continued. "As Ayn Rand once famously wrote, "Evil requires the sanction of the victim" which proves even more how the down trodden are active Liberty and Freedom loving participants in the taking away of their own Liberty and Freedom."

"Please, vote for someone who loves Liberty even more than you. Vote for me, Rand Paul, and I'll write you a prescription so that together we can take America back.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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