Written by Stu B

Tuesday, 14 December 2004

image for Star Wars Christmas Movie Announced
"Prepare my Reindeers - Attack Formation"

George Lucas Today announced that Star Wars III ½ will be released in December 2005. It's working title is "The Rise of Darth Claus".

"We felt that the Star Wars world lacked something but it has taken us nearly thirty years to work out what was actually missing, Christmas" said Lucas as he stroked his greying beard. " In this festive season it suddenly occurred to us that the characters needed some festival in which to receive unwanted sweaters and obscure after shave from relatives far far away, so we have created the storyline that has Yoda create a clone of Anakin Skywalker from a sample of DNA taken from a glass of egg nog" continued Lucas as a Reindeer walked pass his window

"That clone grows and becomes the antithesis of Vader although is equally strong with the force .Darth Claus as he is named decides to give presents every year at the festival of Yool, a Wookie mid winter festival that celebrates hairyness."

The plot line described by Lucas also includes Claus enlisting Ewoks and Jawas as his little helpers and building a Space craft so big and fast that he can deliver all the presents to the children of the galaxy and still be home in time to disrupt the building of the Death Star.

Evil Emperor Palpatine will make an appearance as a sullen individual who, having lost the spirit of Christmas, is visited by three Jedi who remind him of the virtues of the season by showing him. Obi Wan Kenobi, as the Ghost of Christmas Future will say "May the Force Bless us everyone"

Harrison Ford will make a guest appearance as an aging Han solo in the Christmas Future sequence where it is widely anticipated that he will appear in a scene with a computer generated Mark Hamill wrestling in a pit of Bantha droppings.

The final sequence culminates in Emperor Palaptine receiving a gift from Darth Claus and for one evening embracing the spirit of Christmas and holding a big party on Corscurant with 900 foot CGI goose like Hutt creature being cooked by Dark Lords and Jedi's joining forces and micro waving it with their light sabres.

Previews are Expected in August.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Christmas, Star Wars

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