Palin Inspires Tea Party Audience with "Tell Off" Stories

Funny story written by Fuzzy Duffy

Sunday, 14 February 2010

image for Palin Inspires Tea Party Audience with "Tell Off" Stories

Ashland, KY (BNSE): Former Alaska Governor, Sara Palin, continued her outreach to the Tea Party movement this week, speaking before a group of Tea Party activists outside Ashland.

Palin was warmly received by the $150 per ticket Tea Party rally attendees, who stood up in thunderous applause as the former Governor related a series of "Tell Off" stories from her personal life where she perceived herself as getting the upper hand in a series of verbal and "cultural" confrontations.

Attendees of the rally said that some of the most popular stories were of how Palin "Fought back against corporate greed" by "yelling and screaming so loudly Wal-Mart that they gave her money back for a used bra without a receipt." Crusading for food safety when she got a free drink at Applebee's by claiming her glass had a crack in it that nobody could find but her. And, a heart warming tale of how Palin altered her husband's habit of throwing beer cans at passersby who stared while he urinated in the from yard of their house. "We got a f***ing bathroom, you a**hole," Palin recounted fondly as she shouted from the stage over the cheers of the crowd.

Another popular segment of the presentation was a series of poems written by the Governor, herself, that will soon he released in hardcover. Among the most popular with the audience were; "My Kids All Got Goofy Names," "It's my Trans Am, I'll Keep It on Blocks in the Yard If I Want to," "I Ain't Payin' for That," "Go Ahead and Call the Damn Caps, I Don't Give a Sh*t," and "I'm Still Pissed My Daughter Hooked Up with Trash."

Also well received was a haiku written by the Governor:

"Painted Velvet:
Elvis, Dolphin
Budweiser Hat
I Love You."

"Sara was awesome," praised one attendee of the event. "She really knows how to get to the root of the issues and talk about what real Americans care about. Her stories remind me of the time I knocked all the after dinner mints off the counter at Denny's when they said I couldn't pay for the Early Bird all in pennies."

"It was like she was talking directly to me," said another from Columbus, Ohio. "It was like she took what was on my head and said it up there on the stage. All the things I wish I could say, she says. And, she does them. I can't wait until she runs for President."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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