Man Sells His Identity on eBay…. Sued For Fraud

Funny story written by b kenneth mcgee

Friday, 27 November 2009


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An elderly man has been sued by a disgruntled customer of eBay after purchasing the man's identity from the web site. The seller, Mr T.J. McCorkle of Louisburg, NC has told investigators from eBay that he had done nothing wrong. "If anything" Mr. McCorkle stated, "it was an error of omission not commission, even put Caveat Et Emptor at the bottom of the ad, what more could I do?"

As details emerged, it appears that Mr. McCorkle put his resume in the ad but eliminated the last several years. Evidently, he was a Suma cum Laude graduate of the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, had a Masters degree from the University of Chicago, and a PHD in finance from the Wharton School of Finance in Pennsylvania. At age seventy-eight he had enjoyed much success in life until the recession came along and trying to keep his business going he had not only lost everything but had gone deeply into debt.

"I had heard that folks were going to extreme ends to steal other folks identities so I thought I could just sell mine, wasn't doing me much good any longer so on a whim I put it on eBay with a minimum bid of one dollar. Well, by gosh, there were so many bidders and it finally sold for $150.00 and I sure needed the money."

As it turns out the buyer was a Mr. Ezra Dinkins of Tupelo, Mississippi and he is a very angry man. "The man cheated me" said Dinkins when interviewed. "My life is a living hell. I have at least twenty-five to thirty calls every day from credit card companies, banks, and lawyers. The IRS has been here three times threatening to take my house, and my wife is leaving me because a letter came from a sex club called Sexy Grannies for Horny Geezers wanting to renew my membership"

When Mr. Dinkins was reminded that the ad on eBay did say Caveat Et Emptor, Mr. Dinkins replied, "What the hell is that? I thought it meant don't eat caviar on an empty stomach. I don't eat no fish eggs. My life is ruined. I got no place to go. I bought the damn thing as a joke, now I am the joke. I'd like to get my hands on that sleazy Bastard. I am going to sues him!" A local reporter trying to inject a light moment into the interview said, "Mr. Dinkins, are you just having an identity crisis" whereupon Dinkins hit him with a shovel knocking him to the ground and calling him a communist. It seemed the story was over.

One of the major cable news channels followed up on the McCorkle side of the story. It turns out that he has done quite well since the sale of his identity. With the backing of a few friends he produced a video titled "How to sell your identity on eBay" and advertised on all the major cable channels around the country. The results were enormous and with the ad reading "cash or certified checks only" Mr. McCorkle was an instant millionaire one more time.

At last report Mr. McCorkle was living at a Club Med in Cancun with a twenty three year old cocktail waitress he had met at the local Hooters Restaurant. When he was reached at the resort by a reporter from CNN, he reportedly said…………..."life is good"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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