Spoof Writer Honored on Veterans Day and Nearly Loses Life

Funny story written by Frankie The J

Sunday, 22 November 2009

image for Spoof Writer Honored on Veterans Day and Nearly Loses Life
Flag flown outside the sick room of Spoof writer FrankietheJ this past Veterans Day

BARBOURSVILLE WV (ABSNN) -- The late Art Linkletter said it again and again: "Kids say the darndest things." A home made Veterans Day card given to a writer for TheSpoof.com, FrankietheJ, brought great joy--and even greater pain--to Mr. J, a resident of the Veterans Home of West Virginia.

The 58-year-old Vietnam veteran received a handwritten card from a young Barboursville Elementary School student named Eli. After thanking the young student, the cantankerous Frankerous broke out into uncontrollable laughter that brought tears to his eyes. A minute later, Mr. J slumped to the floor, a victim of a coronary occlusion.

An ambulance was summoned to the Veterans Home and FrankietheJ was strapped onto a backboard and, still clutching the child's card in his hand, was transported to St. Mary's Hospital in Huntington, West Virginia, for an emergency heart catherization and stent emplacements in three blocked coronary arteries.

"I shall always remember Veterans Day 2009, and the card that Eli hand delivered to me," Frankie said to reporters who converged on his hospital room.

The card read:

"We honor you for any war you have fought in. I am sorry that you may of saw your friends die, but I am glad you are still alive.

"If you were shot or lost a body part I feel that you should be the most honored person in the US; but I have a question: What war were you in and what side were you on?"

Your friend,
Eli"

"That is fucking funny EVERY time," FrankietheJ laughed.

"Little kid nearly killed me!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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