In a stunning announcement today, Michael Steele Chairman of The Republican Party pronounced Abraham LIncoln as purged from the Republican Party.
Said Steele....."We now know, proof positive, that Abraham LIncoln was not born in thls country and could not have legally been president of the United States. We have the original birth certificate from Warsaw, Poland....The Abe LIncoln that we knew...was really Abraham Liebovitz whose parents came to this country from a Polish ghetto in the late 1790's. We have the birth certificate and pictures of little Liebovitz in a yarmulke attending a secret hebrew school. The LIebovitz's, were in fact, part of the communist Jew conspiracy fo infiltrate this country and put in their own President of the United States. The long range plan was to free the slaves and let them vote. We know now....they did"
Steele was asked by a reporter from the AP what the future plans were for the GOP. Steele replied..."It is no longer the GOP...in fact, secret documents show that GOP was the code name for the foreign infiltrators and stood for Good Old Poland....we are now the WASP. And we are taking action.....and asking everyone to bring their five dollar bills with Liebovitz's picture on them to Washington, DC. He is not going to have us to kick around any longer. These millions in five dollar bills will be used to tear down Liebovitz's statue on the Mall and replace it with a statue of Sarah Palin field dressing a moose. We are taking his country back....we will not be fooled...never again"
When a reporter said to Steele..."But, Mr. Chairman...you are an African American.....Steele replied....."well.....I was an African American...before.......I wasn't an African American"
As Steele took his notes and left the stage an open mike picked up the Chairman humming to himself...."l'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas"