Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

image for Victoria Beckham aka Skinny Spice Stick Is Down To 80 Pounds
A photo of Victoria as she appeared in Musical Bods Illustrated before she lost 51 pounds.

LONDON - Victoria Beckham walked through Heathrow Airport looking more like a pogo stick than a normal mother of three children.

The 35-year-old Spice Girl band member known as Posh Spice is looking more like Skinny Spice as her weight has dropped down to a somewhat anorexic-looking 80 pounds. She is actually starting to make Amy Winehouse look chubby.

Phoebe Teddington an old high school friend says that she is extremely concerned and noted that if Vicky turns sideways and sticks out her tongue, she looks just like a zipper.

She noted that she is so skinny that her husband David, on more than one occasion, has actually used her to stir his drink.

David told a reporter for the BBC that one day last week, Vic was laying on the living room floor taking a nap and the dog picked her up and was taking her outside to bury her for later on.

David said that luckily Cipriana the 17-year-old Portuguese maid, just happened to see her in the dog's mouth and she screamed out scaring the dog and causing it to drop Victoria, who woke up immediately upon hitting the floor.

Victoria tells everyone that she sees that she is on a special diet. When asked what type of diet she is on Victoria responds that she is on the "3" diet. When asked to explain. She says that she eats three times a day, but that each time all that she eats are three grains of rice and three pinto beans.

She did divulge that once a week, she indulges in a snack which consists of one half of a cashew nut.

Her husband recently confided to the gardener Santiago that Vicky has gotten so damn skinny that during the sex act she has to be on top for fear that he will totally smash the everlivin' daylights out of her.

Santiago was grinning from ear-to-ear as he asked David if he had any nude pictures of Miss Vicky. He responded sternly that he most certainly did not. Santiago smacked his lips, he then got up against David's ear and asked, "Du ju like to buy sum?"

SIDENOTE: Victoria's maid Cipriana confided to her husband David, that she is really worried about Miss Vicky's tremendous weight loss. Cippy confided to David that if Miss Vicky loses any more weight she will be wearing their 10-year-old son Brooky's hand-me-downs.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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