Woman With Large Breasts Arrested

Funny story written by David Swinstead

Thursday, 4 April 2002


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Miss Smith and the breasts

A woman with large breasts has been arrested today, following allegations of manslaughter due to her dangerously large bosom.

Sandra Smith, 25 (pictured left), has been arrested and charged with the manslaughter of her ageing Muslim lover Ramie Tupper, who died last week of multiple stab wounds, and was discovered by police in a hotel room taken out the previous night in his name.

It is though that Tupper died in a fatal accident, the details of which are not yet fully known, says Chief Constable Jeff MacLeff who is in charge of the case.

"What we think happened, is that Mr Tupper accidentaly walked through the hotel room window - impaling himself on several large shards of glass - after catching a glimpse of Miss Smith's distracting breasts whilst walking across the room, and being unable to look away from them due to their mesmerizing size causing him to walk blindly forwards and through the window."

The official police investigation is yet to discover an explanation for his body being found inside the hotel room.

Smith will face jurors early next month, and is said to be already chosing her outfit, planning to wear something remarkably transparent to accentuate her bosom in order to gain the support of male jury members. Law experts have said that the case against Miss Smith will not stand up in court, unlike many other things that will certainly be stood to attention upon Smith's entry.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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