HOLLYWOOD - The star of The Bravo Network's My Life on The D-List, Kathy Griffin has confirmed that she has in fact dumped her 19-year-old boyfriend Levi Johnston.
The 48-year-old Griffin said that there were many reasons why she decided to end her relationship with Levi the father of Bristol Palin's baby Tripp Caribeaudro Elker Johnston.
Ms. Griffin said that Levi, the ex-future son-in-law of ex-Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin just could not go five minutes without mentioning words like moose, snow plow, caribou, telescopic hunting rifle, jock itch, igloo, and snow britches.
The belle of the Bravo Network, Griffin said that no matter where they went to eat he would always ask the waitress if they had any reindeer.
She said that one time at Manhattan's ritzy Polynesian Pearls Restaurant he told the waitress that he wanted a polar bear sandwich.
She looked at him and asked him what loony farm he had escaped from. He then asked to see the manager and he repeated his request to him. The manager called the security guard and told him to escort Buffalo Bill Cody out of his exclusive establishment.
Griffin said that she had never been more embarrassed in her life, even more so than the time when she was attending an award show with George Clooney and she noticed that her panties had somehow fallen down around her ankles.
Kathy said that Levi was a good old boy and that was exactly what the problem was. He was just a good old boy. She told about them going to visit the Bronx Zoo and as they both walked around looking at the various animals all he kept saying was "Dammit, I wish I had my rifle."
She said that after the third time she turned to him and said that this was a civilized zoo and that he could not even think about killing any of the animals.
Levi just laughed and told her that he had no intentions of killing them, he just merely wanted to nick one or two in the shoulder.
She said that he was not at all impressed with George Steinbrenner's brand new $1 billion Yankee Stadium. She noted that he did like the popcorn and Cracker Jacks but he kept asking where the hell all of the animals were.
When Levi was asked to comment on how he felt about being dumped by Kathy Griffin he just smiled and said that it kinda sucked.
He then added that being dumped by Kat, his pet name for her, really hurt because he had not only fallen in love with her charming personality and fantastic sense of humor, but he had sort of gotten erotically used to her fabulous funbags (tatas) as well.
He thought for a moment, and said that as bad as it hurt, it didn't come anywhere near to the pain that he had experienced the time he was saltwater fishing up in the Arctic Ocean and an adult Alaskan King Crab latched on to his right nad.
Levi remarked "Now let me effen tell ya that was pain!" He said that his best friend Mucky Balderdash was finally able to knock the crab off his right onion with a baseball bat.
Johnston shook his head and said that even to this day, three years later he still shivers when he hears someone even mention a tuna fish sandwich."
Bristol Palin's ex-boyfriend is quick to point out that several times while they were out on a date the smell of Kat's Ben Gay got so powerful that he actually had to go into a bathroom and throw up.
Levi said that there were many times when the smell of Kathy's Absorbine Jr. was so strong that he actually longed for the smell of Bristol Palin's Clearasil smell.
He said that when he and Kathy were climbing down the Empire State Building stairs because of an elevator malfunction he told Kat that he wanted to give Trippy a little baby brother or sister.
He remarked that Griffin laughed and told him that if he wanted Trippy to have a little brother or baby sister then she suggested that he fly over to Africa and go buy one.
She then quipped that he better hurry up before Angelina Jolie and Madonna snap them all up.
Kathy appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show and she told Miss Oprah that she has no hard feelings about their breakup. She added that there was after all a 19 year age gap difference between them.
She said that one time she mentioned the Beatles to Levi and he told her that they had a lot of them in Alaska and that they regularly fed them as well as crickets and doodle bugs to the moose.
SIDENOTE: Kathy said that she first realized that things would probably not work out when Levi bought her a bronzed pregnant Alaskan salmon for their first month anniversary.
