At a press conference this morning and still a little hung over from yet another beer summit last night, this one was with the Germans and those people can swill it down, President Obama named Hugh Hefner as the Bunny Czar.
"Someone has to look after these Bunnies, especially if there's another Islamic terrorist attack, and I think Hugh has had the practice to do the job right", stated the President. "So this morning, I am officially naming Hefner as the Bunny Czar during my term as president. And, before Mr. Hefner takes the stand, I'd like for you to hold the applause unless you want to see your president puke. It wasn't a pretty sight with those who saw the elder Bush in those old videos and that would be only a drop in the bucket if I begin he-he..heaving."
Mr. Hefner then took the stand.
"Thank you Mr. President. I would like to say that any Bunnies who think they need special protection to call the special number you see crawling on his hands and knees behind me. You OK, Sir?"
"Call the number crawling across the screen."
"Should we suffer a sustained attack and that attack involve any Taliban, you can imagine what they would do to these Bunnies. I mean, look at what they do to a woman for showing an ankle. So my home and a secret safeway house will be provided for these Bunnies that no one, except me, will know and I will know only when I get a certain call and open a small sealed vault."
"I better cut this thing short, the man's looking green. Anyway, I am glad to accept the role of Bunny Czar. NO! Do not clap!