NEW YORK CITY - New York Yankee super star A-Rod has confided to close friends that Kate Hudson is the best girlfriend that he has ever had.
The Yankee star said that Kate constantly keeps him laughing with her jokes about OctuMom, Oprah Winfrey, Glenn "The Riled Up Ranter" Beck, Vice President Joe Biden, and The Boston Celtics.
The 30-year-old Kate Hudson says that she likes A-Rod because he can hit balls real far and because he says nice things to her, like "Kate, you are prettier than Lindsay Lohan," "Kate your hair is blonder than Jessica Simpson's, and "Kate get me another beer and get one for yourself too."
Hudson who has quite a reputation as being the female Warren Beatty has probably dated more men than Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, and Katie Couric together.
Some of her ex-boyfriends include Owen "MovieMouse" Wilson, Dax "MTVain" Shepard, Lance "BicycleBoy" Armstrong, and Simon "The English Muffin" Cowell.
The 33-year-old Alex was asked what exactly it was that attracted him to Madonna seeing as how, at the age of 50, she was 17 years older than him and actually looked 27 years older than him.
A-Rod smiled. He thought for a while and he then said with a boyish grin, "Well it wasn't her singing, it wasn't her cooking, and it certainly wasn't her personality.
But to be honest I will say for the very first time anywhere, that the thing that attracted me to Madonna was the fact that he has one of the prettiest (blanks)* that I have ever seen."
A-Rod says that he enjoys being around Kate because unlike his ex-girlfriend Madonna, she is not constantly singing her song hits.**
*The word rhymes with the baseball term bunts.
**Duh. Maybe that's because Kate is not a singer and therefore she does not have any song hits to sing.
In news coming out of the United Kingdom. Prime Minister Gordon Brown has made it very clear to the president of Nigeria Kumimbu Minnamaki that if he does not apologize for calling Queen Elizabeth the 'Cellulite Queen' that England will invade his country and burn it completely to the ground.