HOLLYWOOD - Actor Sean Penn, 48, has filed for a legal separation from his wife Robin Wright Penn, 43.
Sean stated that the reason for the separation is the old standard irreconcilable differences.
He was asked to elaborate and the two-time Oscar winner said that the differences are that he thinks he's a great actor and his wife doesn't.
He also thinks that he is much handsomer than Brad Pitt and his wife doesn't.
Penn also disclosed that when they go to the grocery store, he wants paper and Robin wants plastic. He said that one day she got so mad that she threw a carton of eggs at him in the checkout line.
He said that it pissed him off so much that he grabbed a box of pantiliners and tossed them at her, but unfortunately he missed Robin, and he hit a big black lady on her shoulder.
The shopper hollered out what the hell his problem was and Penn said that he had no problem.
The woman screamed out "The hell you don't boy. Let me tell you something you grand dragon-lookin' cracker. Nobody hits me with a box of pantiliners and gets away with it."
With that the full-figured woman grabbed a bottle of hair relaxer from her shopping cart and she tossed it at Penn. He ducked and the relaxer hit the gentlemen behind him who just happened to be dressed in a KKK costume.
The Grand Wizard-lookin' dude grabbed a box of Ohio Kitchen Matches, pushed Penn out of the way and took off after the woman.
The big gal was bookin' it, bobbin' and weavin' and side steppin' and lookin' like Pittsburgh Steelers Wide Receiver Santonio Holmes running down the sidelines during the last Super Bowl.
Sean and Robin quickly paid for their groceries and left the grocery store fast.
Regarding the irreconcilable differences separation filing. Robin was asked what the differences were and she replied that Sean's a jerk and she isn't.
She added that he has a horrible temper and she doesn't. And then she commented that Sean Penn is probably the moodiest person on the face of the earth and she isn't.
One of the Penn's neighbors, Teofilo Aguafria, who works as a hairstylist for The Los Angeles Lakers, says that just since Valentine's Day he has heard the Penns arguing and yelling and calling each other every name in the book about three dozen times.
Aguafria added that on several occasions Mr. Penn even hollered out curse words in Russian, Yiddish, German, Cheyenne, and Costa Rican.
Penn did confide to his gardener that he received a call from his ex-wife Madonna last week.
Madonna supposedly told him that she is available and if he wants to get together for drinks, dinner, or whatever that she will be more than happy to oblige him.
In other news. Paris Hilton is presently writing a book on her life. The book is titled, People Say That I Act Like A Blonde, But My Hair Roots Are Actually Blonde, So Duh.
