While millions celebrated the feast of St. Patrick in and around the City of Chicago, one man was rushed to hospital with an initially diagnosed and rare case of "Gloss-Sliotar-Galar" syndrome. Found screaming in the rest room of the "Old Shillelagh" pub after several pints of Ale, Holden O'Mibolz, 39 from Chicago, was found curled into a ball on the floor next to a flooding urinal.
When the medical technicians arrived at the pub, stopping only for a quick pint themselves, they noticed O'Mibolz clutching his privates while his face still held the pinched look of horrific shock. Loading the still unconscious O'Mibolz onto the gurney, one technician noticed the brightly colored green skin under O'Mibolz cupped hands and was heard to comment, "If my gherkin was that green, I'd scream too. Well, I might have the good sense to step away from the urinal before blacking out."
Doctors in the emergency room were baffled at first by the deep green color on the patient's genitals, but noticed that the man's green undershorts were wet from Mibolz own urine. While one doctor offered the rare diagnosis of Gloss-Sliotar-Galar syndrome, Gaelic for "Green Balls Disease", the second doctor leaned down to smell O'Mibolz shorts. "This smells like Riit Fabric dye. Like Riit Fabric dye and urine. The man just pissed his pants trying to make it to the rest room."
Now conscious, O'Mibolz heard the doctor's comments and asked, "It's just dye coloring?" "You're a lucky man." The doctor replied. "Had it been Gloss-Sliotar-Galar syndrome, we would have to amputate." With that, Holden O'Mibolz passed out again.
After O'Mibolz release, he told reporters that he appreciated everyone's well wishes but commented, "So like, if you try to do the home dye thing with your underwear, be sure to add the salt to set the color like they tell you on the box. Or you'll turn out like me. At least until the dye washes off."
As O'Mibolz turned away he noticed a young lady in the crowd who had given him a wink and a nod. He asked, "Hey, do you have any Irish in ya?" She replied "No". O'Mibolz followed with, "Would you like some?"
