Washington DC: Congress is considering a new Federal holiday that would provide an additional three day weekend, help Americans live better and clean up their surroundings.
Environmental and health activists have suggested several possibilities at Congressional committee hearings. The proposals included:
1. No Breathing Day, which would remove 30 Billion gallons of Carbon Dioxide from the atmosphere and possibly some Methane gas. This day is completely voluntary, with children under 12 years and cows always excluded from participating. Committee members were left breathless!
2. No Eating Day, which would remove 20 Million pounds of ugly fat from our landscape. Children under 10 years are excluded from participating. It is a start on solving the obesity problem, but food industry representatives voiced their objections.
3. No Bathing Day, which would save 30 Billion gallons of water on this day. Deodorant, perfume and waterless cleanser manufacturers highly approved of this choice.
4. No Trash Making Day, which would require that only recyclable packaging is to be employed and all household waste products be eliminated, would remove 1.5 Billion pounds of garbage. Trash Haulers Union officials indicated that such a holiday was a bunch of rubbish. (It should be noted that human waste would also substantially decrease on the following day, if "No Eating Day" were simultaneously observed.)
5. Zero Population Increase Day, a day that needs no explanation to consenting adults. Reaction was mixed, as the various groups giving testimony took differing positions on the matter.
Congress in their infinite wisdom has combined all of these holidays into one holiday that is synergistic when it comes to minimizing food consumption, saving water, eliminating waste products (organic and inorganic) and reducing the impact of population growth. The new holiday called "the just say no day", if it were to become law, would only be observed when February 29th falls on a Monday. Have a great day!
