Written by Warren Redlich

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

image for Paulson Resigns: Lou Dobbs Takes Over
Hank Paulson pretends to be George Washington

Henry Paulson resigned Wednesday as Secretary of the Treasury. President Bush appointed CNN's Lou Dobbs to replace him. Dobbs is expected to be confirmed in the Senate on Thursday.

Paulson accepting responsibility for the failed bailout: "I thought we could sell the voters just one more bottle of snake oil and it would make everything better." The former investment banker will return to his estate in the Cayman Islands where he'll have to make do with the paltry hundreds of millions of dollars he managed to stash there.

In an effort to move forward, President Bush picked Lou Dobbs to replace Paulson. "I'm listening to the People," said Bush. "They made it clear they agree with Dobbs on the economy, so I figured I'd give him a shot."

Dobbs was caught off guard by the move. In a moment he thought was off-camera, Dobbs was caught saying: "I don't know anything about being the quarterback. I just lob grenades from the sidelines!" But in a press conference with the President, Dobbs was more confident. "We can fix this problem. And we will."

Dobbs and Bush are huddling with the remaining members of the Bush economic team to see if they can some up with some kind of plan to save America while stuffing cash in their own pockets.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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