Written by kungfuiceskater

Tuesday, 4 May 2004

image for Not Spoof, Truth: "Force Sensitive, Sound-Playing Condom" awarded US Patent; Schwarzenegger Tests It
Don't be too loud!

Truth: In July 1991, inventor Paul Lyons of Southbridge, Massachusetts invented and was awarded a U.S. patent for the "Force Sensitive, Sound-Playing Condom". The actual filed patent, which can be viewed at http://www.uspto.gov/patft/index.html (searching on the patent number 5,163,447), lists reasons why men don't like using condoms. One of the reasons is "they are bothersome to don".

Spoof: When asked to comment on the condom, porn star, Pussy Galore, said, "It's funny, when former Governor of California, Gray Davis, AKA "small tools", banged me, the condom played "Three Blind Mice" but when California Governor and renowned Terminator, Arnold Schwarzenegger banged me, the condom played "Wild Chariots of Fire"."

KungFu IceSkater modest investment banker / writer of this article claims that when he tried the condom, the sound produced by the condom "shattered windows for three miles".

In a related story KungFu IceSkater claims to be linked to recent earthquakes in El Salvador.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Truth, sound

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