Colleges Ban Affimative Action Because of Omarosa

Funny story written by improvman

Tuesday, 4 May 2004

image for Colleges Ban Affimative Action Because of Omarosa
Bitch bitch bitch bitch

Due to fears that they may graduate the next Omarosa, many colleges across the country have ended their affirmative action programs.

"If affirmative action can produce a bitch like Omarosa, it must be more dangerous that we had anticipated, " said UC Berkeley Dean of Admissions Whitey Johnson. "Imagine our shame if a school like ours graduated someone who cries in front of the Donald, loses Jessica Simpson, and plays the race card as often as lonely housewives play the lottery. We have to avoid that at all costs."

Protests at Berkeley were expected after the announcement, but students surprisingly supported this decision, as nobody wanted to sit in a classroom with a potential Omarosa.

After hearing of this news, Omarosa said, "Who gives a f*ck? I'm famous."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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