Michelle Malkin Soul Sells on eBay

Funny story written by Fatima Guillermo Chen

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

image for Michelle Malkin Soul Sells on eBay
Winning Bidder!

HELL - After twelve weeks without a bid, the soul of "Hot Air" blogger and FOX News contributing analyst Michelle Malkin finally sold for the "Buy It Now" price of 99 cents. The buyer, whose registered user name is (B_L_Z_BUB666), has not returned an EMAIL request for comment but feedback for the purchase indicates satisfaction:

"A+++++ No buyer's remorse here. Shipping was fast and this soul will make a nice addition to my collection."

A perusal of the winning bidder's buying history reveals a number of similar purchases over the years from the likes of such notorious women as Isla Koch; the"Chief Overseer" of the female guards at the Buchenwald concentration camp, Elizabeth Bathory; the "Blood Countess of Hungary" and Imelda Marcos; shoe obsessed wife of former Philippine dictator Ferdinand Marcos.

Malkin, the marionette "Stepford Wife" of effeminate, camera shy weakling Jesse Malkin (former RAND CORPORATION economist turned stay at home dad who is best known for his alleged assault on a female photographer) made headlines recently when she came to the defense of a psychotic, puppy killing U.S. Marine Corporal.

"This latest attention she received in the media could explain why the property finally sold after being on the market so long" says long time soul collector Lou Cifer.

Malkin, whom some have dubbed the "Neo-Con Porn Queen" of American journalism, is best known for her hate-laden racist rants, endorsements of torture and cruelty, arguments in favor of concentration camps for American citizens and support for detaining political prisoners indefinitely without due process of law.

With these credentials, some have pondered how such a soul could go so long being proferred without a taker.

"I don't think anyone has really taken her quite seriously until now" reasons Cifer "To have a soul you must be human and I don't think she has ever come across that way"

To cite an example, Cifer refers to a recent appearance Malkin made on the FOX NEWS program: "The O'Reilly Factor"…

"Watch the clip closely" Cifer implores "She doesn't move. It's clear to me that she's either dead or a stuffed toy. The sound effects of a girl yapping seem to have been dubbed in"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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