Brianna Denison steals chicken pot pie

Funny story written by Jacob Baker

Sunday, 17 February 2008

image for Brianna Denison steals chicken pot pie
"I haven't eaten a bite all day"

When a Chicago woman arrived at her home on Feb. 2, she was surprised to find her neighbor, Brianna Denison, leaving with a box of macaroni and cheese, chicken pot pie and a Popsicle from her kitchen.

"She confronted her as she reached the glass door," said Lt. Jacob Baker of the Chicago Police Department. "She said, 'What the hell are you doing in my house?' Brianna responded that she was hungry, and then the neighbor asked her to give the food back."

At around 5:00 p.m.when the cat usually gets its meal, Brianna, 34, allegedly entered her neighbor's house through an unlocked sliding glass door and helped herself to $2.00 worth of food from the kitchen.

And the neighbor, whom police would not identify, does not believe this was Brianna's first time hungry for her food.

According to the police report, the neighbor had noticed small amounts of missing food and money, but did not think to report it. Now she believes that Brianna was responsible.

The unemployed Brianna, however, not only denies the charge, but also claims that her accuser had previously broken into her residence.

"Hungry are the dammed" replied the police chief in Brianna's hometown.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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