Looking over the list of Academy Award nominees, Upper East Side jackass and onetime film school student Kevin Schmidt proudly announced that not only did he see all of the films up for Best Picture this year, but every Best Foreign Film nominee and lots of other stupid art films no normal person gives a shit about.
"Michael Clayton was a decent film," Schmidt proclaimed. "But it was nothing compared to The Diving Bell And The Butterfly which was much better than anything Hollywood cranked out this year. There Will Be Blood was okay, but not nearly as daring as some of the underground films coming out of Kazakhstan. People are too stupid to pay attention to good cinema."
Kevin's' friends pretended to listen to Kevin's diatribe about the films not nominated for Best Live Action Short Film while secretly wishing for God to step in and put an end to their suffering.
