Nations Asian Massage Parlors Raise Prices

Funny story written by clebo99

Saturday, 17 November 2007

In a decision that was expected throughout the Wall Street community, the nations Asian Massage Parlor Association (AMPA) announced yesterday that their membership voted to increase prices effective immediately. This will be the first price increase since 1994 and was voted almost unanimously, with only a block of parlors located in the Las Vegas and Baltimore areas voting against the increase.

Everybody Wins

With the increases now in place, a half an hour will now cost the comsumer $50 and an hour now costing $70 for the company of a beautiful, non-speaking Asian female.

"We think this is a win-win for everybody", stated AMPA spokesmen Kevin Morano. "The parlor owners can use this extra influx of cash to upgrade their facilities, purchases for better quality girls overseas, improved advertisements in the local sports sections and get better health care for their employees".

But not everyone is happy with the increases, including some of the girls working the front line.

"With this more pay, mean I no get more tip", stated San Le Pak who works at the Dayton, OH "Asian Spa" located on 2nd Avenue right above "Rex's Bailbonds". "I still need work for money and now 'John' have less for me. San Le Pak sad".

For the most part, the customer base feels the price increase is something that they can handle and will not affect the frequency of their visits.

"It's only a small increase", stated Jeff Karp who frequents his local parlor called "The Osaka Spa" located in Columbia, MD. "I mean, instead of me getting 2 girls for an hour I may just get a half an hour, cutting out the table shower. But overall, I'm still going to go".

Why Now?

Many experts are asking themselves why this increase occurred now and most are pointing to the recent Strip Club Lapdance price increase that occurred last summer, which raised the price of a lapdance from $20 to $25.

"This is just one industry following the lead of another", stated James Roller, financial analyst for Goldman & Sachs. "If Joe Public is going to pay $25 for a clothed grind dance, then he more than likely will pay that extra $10 for a rub and tug. It's just good economic sense for the increase".

Experts are now speculating how this increase will trickle down to other adult industries including hourly escorts, streetwalkers and Playboy magazine subscriptions.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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