The new United States proposal for Middle East reform addresses every conceivable problem facing the region today: poverty, social issues and political instability but with one somewhat glaring omission. It doesn't mention the Palestinian/Israeli conflict.
When asked, Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse responded, "What are you talking about? What's Israel? Who's Palestine? We in the Administration have never heard of either of those places, or people, or things, or whatever the hell they are. Why do I even talk to you? You know, we come up with a really decent plan, one that focuses on what's truly important, politics and money, and you come along with this crazy talk about Israel and Palestine. Israel and Palestine have nothing to do with the conflict in the Middle East. The real problem is that Arabs aren't getting the tax relief that we here in America have enjoyed under George Bush. Once they have some cash in their pockets and a decent Republican political party all the problems there will be solved."
When it was pointed out that the vast majority of Arabs in the Middle East don't make enough money to worry about taxes, Wegman, speaking on the condition of anonymity responded, "So what? It looks good on paper and that's what's important. Look at Health Care Reform in this country. We're screwing old people left and right but the report looks good...nice paper, pretty graphs and charts; old people love that kinda stuff, why should Arabs be any different?"
When it was pointed out that Arabs are intelligent and would see past a flashy facade Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of more anonymity said, "That's we released the report in English only. Pretty smart, huh?"
When it was pointed out that a great many Arabs can speak and read English Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of even more anonymity replied, "You're kidding, right? They can't really figure out what the report says, can they? They can? Shit, screwed again."
